
A Voice on the Mountain
‘A voice on the mountain reconnects a father and daughter’ is a true story taken from the pages of my own healing journey following the death of my daughter in 2002.
I share it with you now in the season of Christmas because the story it tells of reconnection to my daughter’s spirit is the real reason I’m once again able to enjoy this season in a tranquility of spirit with a heart full of joy – a season that once again has come to include a fullness of relationships with all of my other family members and friends whom I had closed myself to in my long season of grieving.
It happened like this…
“It’s sometime in May of 2006 and I’m on the road into town for my appointment this month with my friend and counselor Anthony. I’m vibrating and shaking inside because of an absolutely amazing realization about my daughter’s death and absence in my life that I’ve just recently come to, and I’m aching to share it with him. I can feel its power and truth coursing through my soul and I weep with an unexpected gratitude as I drive.
When we get settled into his office I begin to tell him about it, and my emotions are surging against the barricades I still reflexively maintain in order to seem normal to those around me. It’s even still hard to step around them with Anthony, and allow him him or anyone else access to those deep and powerful currents that continue their rampage within me. I know I’m definitely healing but I’m still not quite ready to fully come out from behind them yet. Truth is I still don’t know exactly how to, but I also know the time will come when I do.
I tell him I’d gone out for a solitary walk on the mountain behind our house a few days before, and how in the midst of some more deep soul searching and agony I’m crying out to my daughter – and suddenly realize I can hear her voice clear as a bell, talking back to me! What is this – is it real? I tell him how I shake my head in disbelief at those questions, thinking I’m going nuts, and continue my walking and crying out.
Then I hear it again – with the same crystal clarity that first rang its note in my heart only moments before – only this time its impact drives me to my knees on the mountain trail as comprehension of its true meaning comes roaring in on the wings of sudden illumination.
Almost four years after her death, and suddenly I realize that what others have told me to be true about their dearly departed ones is in fact now true for me too! She’s always been there living in my heart and memories, waiting for me to realize her continued closeness in this way – waiting for me to begin talking directly to her once again instead of only at her lost physical presence.
And then I tell him how the depths of the conversation we’d had that day and in the days since this revelation had begun to unlock the shackles from my years of pain and grieving.
And I know that I don’t tell it to him exactly this way, but I remember coming down from the mountain that day feeling like Moses must have felt carrying the Ten Commandments down from his own mountain of miracles – knowing he’d spoken with a Spirit and knowing it had been real. Knowing also that this same Spirit lived within him and walked with him and that they could just talk together at any time they wished.
Just like my daughter and I had done together on our mountain on that breakthrough day, or could do again at any time we wished to in the future. Just as we continue to do to this day in fact, and will until the moment beyond time when our spirits embrace again in eternity”.
A voice on the mountain reconnects a father and daughter in heart and spirit, and succeeds in also reconnecting him to the love of family and friends rediscovered in the power of those healing influences.
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